


Piece Me Back Together

by mylifeiskara



Series: t100 Fic for BLM Prompts [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dad!Murphy, Definitely Maybe AU, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, Single Dad Murphy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeiskara/pseuds/mylifeiskara
Summary: John Murphy is newly single and adjusting to his new normal, which includes partial custody of his 13-year-old daughter, Emma. When Emma tells Murphy about her first big crush, she is then prompted to ask him how he met her mother. Instead of giving her the straightforward story, he decides to tell her about the three important relationships he had in his twenties, but he changes the names, so she's left to guess which woman is actually her mother.A Definitely, Maybe AU
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/John Murphy, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), John Murphy/Raven Reyes
Series: t100 Fic for BLM Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105646
Comments: 40
Kudos: 49
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	1. New Normal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sparklyfairymira (myonetruelove)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myonetruelove/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with another prompt through [t100 Fic for BLM](https://t100fic-for-blm.tumblr.com/). This idea has been living rent free in my brain since I got the prompt, so I am very excited to be sharing the first chapter with you guys! This will also be a fun little challenge because it involves three different ships, which is something I've never done in a fic before.
> 
> I don't know how many of you guys have seen Definitely, Maybe before, but the whole premise is that the audience is left in the dark about who the mother is along with the daughter as her dad tells the story. I'm going to try to do the same thing with this, so you guys won't know who Emma's mom is until the end! You can guess all you want, but I'm not going to answer them, because I think it's part of the fun that you're also left wondering.
> 
> With that being said, this first chapter is just setting up the premise, so please enjoy Murphy hanging out with his teenage daughter!

John Murphy hadn’t planned on starting his life over. He wouldn’t say he was miserable with his life. He’s nearing forty and he’d say he’s perfectly content. But it seems like he and his wife had a similar moment where they rolled over to look at the other in bed one day and realized something had changed between them.

It’s been a month since Murphy moved out of the house in Westchester and into an apartment in Morningside Heights. With each passing day he finds himself better adjusting to his new normal. He doesn’t wake up wondering where he is anymore, most of his boxes are unpacked, and he’s even adopted an adorable brown tabby cat that he’s named Steve. So he’s not sure why he’s been staring at the divorce papers sitting on his kitchen counter for over a week with such a sense of paralyzing fear.

The separation has been nothing but amicable, mostly for the sake of their daughter, Emma. She’s thirteen and a little too sassy for her own good. Murphy knows his kid well enough to know that the sass is probably covering something else up. Hell, he’s the king of coping mechanisms. And it’s not as though he doesn’t care about Emma’s mom anymore. What they had in the past isn’t what they have now, and they both felt and understood that. Emma seems to be taking the whole thing fairly well, at least from what Murphy can tell. He hasn’t seen her too much since he’s been in the process of moving. In their new custody arrangement, Murphy gets Emma on alternating weekends, though this is the first weekend she’s spending with him, since he’s finally got her room all set up.

Murphy finds himself walking in the direction of his daughter’s room. It’s not as big as her one in Westchester, but this whole thing is a bit of a downsize. He nervously paces around it, messing with the blue bedspread and fluffing the pillows one last time before surveying the whole space again. He hopes she still likes blue. She changes her mind so much about what her favorite things are, he doesn’t want her room to be out of date before she’s even visited.

Steve trails into the room after him, and Murphy looks down as the cat rubs up against his leg. He smiles before bending down to lift Steve into his arms.

“You think she’ll like it?” he asks. He never thought he’d be the person that talks to his cat, but he’s alone for the first time in about fifteen years. It’s still taking some time to get used to, and talking to Steve has been more comforting than he would’ve expected.

He takes Steve and walks back out into the living room. Murphy puts him down by his bowl before going to his coffee pot to pour coffee into his travel mug. He stares off into the distance, eyes landing on the divorce papers again. He should really sign those at some point. Maybe when he gets home from work. Murphy shakes himself out of his thoughts and grabs his jacket and bag before heading onto the busy Manhattan streets.

Murphy works at a large marketing firm that has offices in Midtown. It’s not at all what he pictured himself doing when he was younger, but he’s decent at it, and it pays well. And when he found out his ex was pregnant with Emma, he started spending a lot less time thinking about himself and a lot more about providing for his child. He wanted to give her everything, and she’s been his main motivator over the years.

Murphy goes through the motions of his work day, a bit distracted about Emma’s first weekend stay. He’s leaving work early to meet her Metro North train when it comes into Grand Central Station after school. It’s not as though he hasn’t seen her since he moved out of the house. He’s been back to Westchester a few times to get some of his things, and they’ve spent time together. He feels confident in his relationship with his daughter. And he tries not to let it bother him that when they asked where she wanted to live, she picked her mom. It stung a bit in the moment, but he gets it. She gets to keep the house, and Emma will still be close to all her friends. She’s old enough that she’s building her own little life and community, and Murphy doesn’t want to take her away from that just because he’s going to miss seeing her everyday. That’s probably the thing he’s having the hardest time wrapping his mind around with the whole divorce. He doesn’t want his relationship with his kid to change, and he doesn’t want her to think that he doesn’t care.

He takes a deep breath as the clock on his computer changes to four pm. He presses send on his last email and starts to gather his things. Emma’s train should be at Grand Central by about 4:30. Murphy’s building isn’t far from Grand Central, so thankfully he can walk rather than have to deal with the subway right about now. He’ll be a bit early probably, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels a sense of anticipation, not unlike a kid on Christmas who finally gets to open their presents.

Murphy stands in the spot where he and Emma agreed to meet. He’s a few minutes early, so he texts his ex to let her know he’s got everything set for the weekend. She’ll probably look at it and not respond, but he feels the need to keep in contact with her. It’s not as though this is Emma’s first time taking the train from Westchester to Manhattan by herself, but they’re her parents, so of course they worry a little.

Murphy perks up when a few minutes after 4:30 he spots Emma walking towards him. She’s weighed down by her duffle bag, and her eyes are glued to her phone. It’s a wonder she doesn’t run into someone or trip over something. Maybe they should have a talk about her paying more attention to her surroundings. She does look up for a moment, searching for him. They make eye contact and he waves, a grin breaking onto his face. Emma gives him a small smile, but turns back to her phone as she makes her way over to him.

“Mom says to remind you to sign the divorce papers,” she says once she’s near him, barely looking up from her phone.

Murphy frowns, as he kisses the top of her head. “Hello to you too, kiddo.”

“I just figured I’d get that out of the way. I don’t know why she didn’t just text you.”

“Your mom has never been big on texting. But do text her and tell her you’re with me now, okay?”

Emma nods and fires off a quick text before pocketing her phone and looking back at him. Murphy almost thinks she’s gotten taller since he last saw her. That can’t be right. Maybe it’s just the boots she has on. Still, he has a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that he has a teenage daughter. Where has the time gone?

They start walking in the direction of the subway before Murphy says anything else.

“Did you have a good day at school?” he asks once they’re on the platform.

She shrugs. “It was fine.”

“That’s all?”

“I mean, it’s school. It’s basically the same everyday. You should know.”

“Yeah, well I haven’t been in school in ages. It could be different.”

Emma chuckles as the train pulls into the station. “Yeah, you and Mom are getting pretty old.”

“Hey, now. I’m younger than your mom.”

“Only by like three months.”

“It still counts.”

Emma throws him a side eye once the two of them have stepped onto the train. She sits down in a seat while he stands up next to her, holding on to the bar above. He can’t get over the fact that his own child has perfected and maybe even improved upon his sass. He’s not sure what he expected when he and his ex decided to reproduce, but he’s learned over the years he can’t take it as well as he can dish it.

“We’re gonna stop for some pizza on the way, but tomorrow night I can cook something,” Murphy says. “Do you have any idea what you might want?”

“Mac and cheese?” Emma asks hopefully.

“Mac and cheese sounds doable. Do you wanna learn how to make it?”

“Okay.”

Murphy smiles to himself. He used to enlist Emma’s help in the kitchen all the time when she was younger, but the past couple of years, she usually made up some excuse not to help. Granted, the excuse was usually homework, but their moments in the kitchen together were always some of Murphy’s favorites.

“What’s up with your face?” Emma asks.

Murphy is snapped out of his trance. “Huh?”

“You had a weird smile on your face. What are you so excited about?”

“Nothing. I’m just glad to get to spend some time with you.”

She nods, but doesn’t say anything more. He misses when she was little and her reply would’ve been something cute like “You’re my favorite dad.”

“Oh, and you get to meet my cat,” Murphy adds.

“You got a cat?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty cool.”

They get off at Murphy’s subway stop and pick up a few slices of pizza on the way back to his apartment. He checks his mailbox before leading her into the elevator and up to his floor. Once they get to his door, he pulls out his key and turns it in the lock, letting them inside.

Emma takes in her surroundings as she steps into the living room. She’s probably not used to how simply the place is decorated, given her mom’s penchant for knick-knacks and patterns. He puts the pizza down on the kitchen table, before picking up the extra key he left on the counter. He hands it to her.

“This is for you,” he says. “Now that you know the way here, Mom says it’s alright if you don’t want to wait for me at work and come here yourself on Fridays. I won’t always be able to stop early to get you.”

Emma nods, still looking around the apartment with a discerning eye.

Murphy frowns. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just small.”

“Well I am only one person.”

Steve finally makes an appearance, coming in from Murphy’s room. Murphy picks him up from the ground and brings him over for Emma to meet.

“This is Steve.”

Emma raises an eyebrow. “You named your cat Steve?”

“What, he doesn’t look like a Steve to you?”

“Dad, are you gonna become a sad bachelor now that you and Mom aren’t together anymore?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. I mean, you got a cat. Is this already a cry for help?”

“Am I not allowed to just want a cat? I thought you’d like him, he’s so cute.”

Emma smiles as she gets a good look at Steve for the first time. She reaches out a hand to pet his head, and he nuzzles into her touch. “Yeah, he is pretty cute.”

“Great. Now if you’re done making fun of me, do you want to see your room?”

Emma perks up at that, and Murphy chuckles, putting Steve down and leading her down the hall. He stands in front of the door as she approaches with her arms folded across her chest. He ignores the fact that his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. He just really hopes she likes it.

“Can I get a drumroll, please?”

“No,” Emma says.

Murphy grumbles before turning the knob. “You’re no fun.”

He flips the light switch on, then steps inside, turning as Emma looks around the room. As she looks around, the biggest smile spreads across her face. Murphy hasn’t seen her smile like that in a long time. Maybe he got this right after all.

“What do you think?” he asks after a moment.

“I like it,” she says, setting her duffle bag on the ground before flopping on the bed.

Murphy lets out a sigh of relief, happy that she likes her room.

“I wasn’t sure what colors you were into these days, but your mom said anything blue was a safe bet.”

Emma nods. “It’s nice, Dad. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I know it’s not the same, but I want this to feel like home for you too, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Why don’t you wash your hands so we can eat. You can get settled in after dinner.”

They eat their pizza, Emma finally getting a bit more talkative than she was when she first got to Manhattan this afternoon. Murphy doesn’t have the slightest idea of what she’s talking about, since she chose to fill him in on her favorite TV show, but he’s just glad she’s talking. At least she wants to share about something. He mentions the cute diner across the street and says they can get breakfast there in the morning, which she seems to like the idea of.

It feels a little odd, eating dinner with his daughter tonight. He’s pretty sure he’s the only one that feels this way, but it seems like he’s working overtime to earn her approval. Murphy knows that Emma likes her mom better than she likes him, but it’s not as though she doesn’t love him. This should be like any other dinner they’ve had in the past. Just without her mom there. It’s the start of a different dynamic, one where Murphy has to play catch up. He’s not in the loop on what’s happening between her and her friends, he’s not the one scheduling pick ups from soccer practice or school dances anymore. It’s like he’s searching for where he fits in now. He knew this was going to be an adjustment, that this is part of their new normal, but he wishes that he didn’t feel like such an outsider in his own daughter’s life.

He’s also a little bitter that Steve seems to have taken to Emma extremely quickly. He’s supposed to be Murphy’s cat. Where is his loyalty? He realizes how ridiculous he must sound, upset that his cat is paying his daughter more attention than he’s ever paid Murphy. But he’s in a weird headspace right now, sue him.

Once their pizza is gone, Murphy enlists Emma’s help to make some cookies. She only grumbles for a moment, because Murphy’s chocolate chip cookies are too good to resist.

Emma has been Murphy’s helper in the kitchen enough times that they have a good rhythm established, even in an unfamiliar kitchen. He even lets her use the KitchenAid today, something he almost never does. He shouldn’t be trying this hard to impress his own flesh and blood, but he’s still not sure where they stand, since he doesn’t see her all the time anymore.

“So, how are your friends?” Murphy asks as they scoop dough onto the baking sheet. “Did Megan end up getting her ears pierced?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. I went with her. She wanted someone to take pictures for her, and everyone says I take the best ones.”

“It’s always good to have a friend who can take good pictures.”

“They weren’t the best though, but that’s only because Megan was crying so her face was a little red. Were you that friend? The one that took the best pictures?”

“Yeah. Your mom and I used to switch off, though.”

They lapse into silence as they continue to fill their baking sheets. It’s probably the most relaxed Murphy has felt all evening. If he doesn’t think about it too hard, it’s like nothing has changed, and he and Emma are just making cookies back in Westchester on a Friday night. Too bad that’s not the case, and everything has changed. Murphy’s a little tired of change lately, and he doesn’t think he’s equipped to handle anymore.

Emma goes to her room to settle in as the cookies bake. Murphy sits in his living room and turns on the television. Steve curls up on the top of the couch near his head, and he almost forgives him for bonding so quickly with Emma. Steve is supposed to be Murphy’s divorce cat. They’re the ones that are supposed to bond quickly, not him and his daughter, who’s only around on occasion.

“Just don’t forget who feeds you,” Murphy says sternly to Steve, who just purrs in response. He lifts a hand to scratch behind his ears and Steve melts into the touch.

Once the cookies have cooled, Murphy puts a few onto a plate and takes them to Emma’s room. He knocks on the door before letting himself in. She’s lying back on her bed, smiling at something on her phone.

“Cookies are ready,” he says as he enters.

Emma quickly locks her phone and sits up as Murphy comes in, Steve trailing behind him. Murphy sits at the foot of her bed, offering her the plate. She smiles and takes one, eagerly stuffing it into her mouth.

“What are you up to?” he asks.

“Nothing,” she answers with her mouth full. “Just texting the group chat.”

Murphy nods, biting into his own cookie, though he’s not sure he believes her. He doesn’t want to pry, since he wants her to feel like she can trust him. But usually Emma’s not one to keep secrets. In fact, she almost thrives on speaking her mind and not caring who she’s speaking to. Thankfully, she’s not as brash as Murphy was when he was younger, so she gets in a lot less trouble.

“It’s getting a little late, so if you want to start settling in for bed, there’s a towel for you in the bathroom.”

“Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

They stare at each other for a moment, until Murphy realizes she wants him to leave. He’s not sure he’ll ever understand teenage girls.

“If you leave the door open for a bit, Steve might wander out. He just kind of does what he pleases.”

She nods.

Murphy stares at her for another second, unsure of when his little girl turned into someone so independent. He sighs as he starts to stand up, but pauses as Emma’s phone beeps with a notification. He sees it’s a text from someone named Riley, which causes him to frown. Murphy doesn’t think he’s heard of a Riley before.

Emma quickly picks up her phone from the bedspread and puts it face down on her bedside table, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Who’s Riley?” Murphy wonders aloud.

“Nobody,” Emma says.

“Well it’s clearly not nobody if they’re making you blush like that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, you’ve just never mentioned a Riley before.”

“I only started talking to him recently.”

“Where’d you meet him? Does he go to school with you?”

“Dad!”

Murphy holds up his hands in surrender. “Sorry! I’m just curious, I guess.”

It’s weird to sit here, thinking about how his daughter has a crush on someone. Is this her first crush? He’s thanking his lucky stars that they’re already past the sex talk, because that was excruciating, and he wasn’t even the one that did most of the talking. He used to laugh at people for saying that they longed for the days when their kids were little. Now that Emma is growing up right before his very eyes, he gets what those other parents were talking about. He’s not ready for his little girl to get big, even though she already is. And on top of all that, it’s making him feel incredibly old.

Emma frowns. “Dad, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’ve grown two heads. I’m just talking to a boy, it’s not like I haven’t done that before.”

“I know. But it’s always different when you really like the person.”

“Like the way your stomach flips?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

Emma opens her mouth to ask something, but hesitates for a moment, as if she’s unsure how Murphy will react. After a moment she decides to ask anyway.

“Did you used to have that feeling with Mom?”

Murphy’s heart sinks at her question. Maybe the whole divorce thing is having more of an effect on Emma than she’s letting on. It’s a fairly innocuous question though, but it does leave Murphy feeling a little sad.

He nods. “Yeah. I did.”

“What changed?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you guys are getting divorced, so you don’t feel that way anymore. Did it just feel different one day?”

“I guess it did,” Murphy answers honestly. “When you’re with someone for a while, the butterflies kind of start to fade. And I love your mom, I always will. But we’ve both grown a lot since we first got together, and we’re just not the right fit anymore.”

Emma nods. “So what was she like when you met her?”

Murphy snorts. “Pretty much the same as she is now.”

“But you guys never talked about how you met or anything like that. I feel like I know nothing about you when you were younger. Like how many other people did you have sex with before you and Mom started dating?”

“Emma! You can’t just ask people questions like that, it’s not appropriate.” Now Murphy feels his own cheeks heating up. The list is not long, but he didn’t think his kid would ask him about it.

Emma sighs. “Let me rephrase. Did you date other people before Mom?”

“I dated a bit. I had one other serious relationship besides your mom. Then there was one almost-relationship. It probably would have been serious if we ever got the timing right.”

“That’s sad.”

Murphy shrugs. “It is what it is. And it all led me to your mom, so that’s what’s important.”

“Is this your way of saying you’re not gonna tell me more about it?” Emma asks with a pout.

“Come on, you don’t really wanna hear about that.”

“But I do! All my friends know all about their parents when they were young, and I feel like you and Mom never share anything.”

Murphy studies his daughter as she looks at him with her big, pleading blue eyes. He still wasn’t completely sure what Emma wanted to learn from this. He was a bit of a dumbass in his twenties, and there are a lot of things he wished he had done differently. Though there’s nothing that’s all that wild or revealing in any of his dating stories. If she’s so curious about how he and her mom met, he’ll tell her. But he’s not going to make things easy.

“Alright. You want to hear about my dating life so bad? I’ll give you the full story.”

Emma’s eyes widen. She clearly didn’t expect him to give in so easily. “Really?”

“Really. But there’s a catch. I’m changing all the names, so you won’t know which one Mom is.”

“So it’s like a mystery?”

“If you want it to be.”

“Okay. That sounds like fun. And I can guess at the end.” She pulls Steve into her lap as she gets cozy. Murphy is shocked at how willing Steve is to let Emma touch him, considering they just met today. He puts that out of his mind so he can prepare to tell his story.

“Alright. So like I said, there were three very important women that came into my life in my twenties,” he begins. He pauses for a moment to think of names for each of them. “Let’s call them Josephine, Kaylee, and Becca.”

“Why those names?” Emma interrupts.

“I don’t know, they’re just what popped into my head. Do you wanna hear the story or not?”

She mimes zipping her lips and Murphy chuckles before he continues.

“So we have Josephine, Kaylee, and Becca. I was in love with all three of them, but only one of them would go on to become your mother.”

Murphy can’t believe he’s about to tell his daughter about his past love life. It’s in the past for a reason. But he can’t help but feel giddy that this is one of the first times tonight that he’s had Emma’s undivided attention. It feels like they’re bonding, and it’s exactly how he hoped their first weekend together would go. So if he has to embarrass himself a little by reliving some of his early twenties mistakes, that’s a risk he’s willing to take. Maybe he’s far enough removed from some of the incidents to laugh at them. He knows Emma certainly will. He takes a deep breath before launching into the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Let me know in the comments what you think so far.
> 
> I don't have a posting schedule for this fic, but I do have to spend some more time outlining it before I do anything else. That being said, if you like it and are interested in seeing more of it sooner, you can always prompt me for a chapter update through t100 Fic for BLM. We've got a new submission system, so check out [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/) for more info. And I'm also taking other prompts for one-shots, so if you have a Memori, Bellarke, or AU Murven (or Clurphy now too I guess haha) idea for me, keep 'em coming!
> 
> As always, feel free to come find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) if you have any questions!


	2. "Josephine"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! 
> 
> I'm slowly but surely making my way through outlining this fic as we start off the new year! I'll update the chapter count once I'm closer to being finished, but my brain wants to say around 10 chapters? Give or take a few, we'll see. But either way, I'm excited to get back to this story, and though I don't have a real update schedule, I am going to be working on it and alternating it with my other WIP.
> 
> I had a couple questions about the endgame after posting the first chapter, and I guess I kind of took for granted that not everyone multi-ships to the same degree I do. As a disclaimer, the endgame is based off of what the prompter asked of me. As I mentioned to someone, if you've seen the movie you might be able to guess the mother and the endgame as we start to meet more characters. The movie is on (American) Netflix, if you're at all interested in watching. If you're still concerned feel free to reach out to me via DM. I link my socials in the end notes, and I'd be totally happy to address any concerns you might have. And although there can only be one endgame, my goal is to put everyone in their feels for each ship, no matter how their story with Murphy ends. 
> 
> Now with that all out of the way, please enjoy the chapter!

Murphy takes a breath, not completely ready to unload his past dating life onto his child. But she asked, so it’s her funeral at this point. Emma stares intently at him, absentmindedly petting Steve as he sits in her arms.

“So I had just graduated college, and I was dating a girl named Josephine. I thought for sure I’d found the love of my life,” Murphy explains. “At this point, I hadn’t even moved to New York yet. But I had big city dreams.”

“What kind of dreams?” Emma asks.

“I wanted to be a novelist.”

Emma frowns at him. “ _You_ wanted to be a novelist?”

“Yeah, is that so surprising?”

“It’s just not what I pictured you doing. I feel like you just did whatever business thing you do now.”

“I was an English major in college!” Maybe Emma had a point about Murphy never telling her anything about his youth.

She smiles. “Okay, I believe you.”

Murphy rolls his eyes before continuing, “As I was saying, I figured my best bet to becoming an author probably did not lie in Wisconsin. So I applied for an internship at a publishing house here in New York. It was fairly longshot, and I didn’t think I would get it. But shockingly, I got an interview, and then I got the internship.”

“Well, wasn’t Josephine in Wisconsin?” Emma asks.

“She was. She was really supportive of the whole thing, though. Josephine was a big believer in following your dreams. The internship was only six months, so we agreed we would do long distance and then figure things out from there.”

“Was it tough to be away from her?”

Murphy nods. “Yeah, it was. But we talked a lot. My roommate said we were nauseating, and I believe him. But that’s what happens when you’re in love.”

Emma nods. Murphy is still surprised that she’s so interested in all of this, but he continues to indulge her. He almost can’t believe all it took for her to look up from her phone was to tell a very long-winded story about himself. He would’ve tried this sooner, if he’d known it would be that easy.

~ **THEN** ~

Murphy bustled around his apartment, tidying up the place as he waited for the oven timer to beep. He wished his roommate Lexa wouldn’t leave her stuff all around their living room. It was one thing if she kept her mess contained to her room. But why should _he_ have to live with her mess? Murphy was a very neat person, and all he asked was that the common area was clean. Especially since Clarke was coming over. Lexa had agreed to make herself scarce so that Murphy and Clarke could have alone time, but he didn’t think to elaborate and ask that she pick up her things from the living room.

It seemed like half the time Murphy hung out with his girlfriend, Lexa always found a way to be at home. It had made for some uncomfortable moments when Murphy thought he and Clarke would have the apartment to themselves for longer and they hadn’t made their way to his room yet. He didn’t think it was too much to ask that they have some alone time. Murphy was always respectful when Lexa wanted to bring Costia home while they were still together. He would go to Clarke’s more often, but she had more roommates than he did, so it was a lot harder to get the shared house to herself.

Murphy wanted this evening to go off without a hitch. He was about to leave Madison for six months to go to New York for his publishing internship. Clarke had been nothing but happy for him since he found out the news, but he could tell that something was bothering her about the whole situation. Hell, something was bothering _him_ about the situation. He had never felt this way about anyone in his entire life. Sure he was young, but he felt in his gut how special this thing they had was, and they were about to be apart for the first time since the beginning of their relationship a year ago. He wanted to reassure her that this wasn’t what their forever was going to look like. The separation was temporary, and he hoped that this nice dinner would be a moment they could talk it through together.

The timer beeped and Murphy ran back into the kitchen to pull his mac and cheese out of the oven. It was Clarke’s favorite thing he made. Though, Clarke was wowed by a lot of things since she wasn’t the best cook. Murphy found it really endearing, but he did spend a great deal of their first few dates giving her some basic cooking instructions. He wanted her to at least know how to cook an egg.

Once the food was ready and Murphy decided the living room looked up to his standard, he went back to his room and changed into a slightly nicer shirt. He pulled on a sweater over top of his button down, then fixed the collar. The buzzer sounded as he was checking his hair in the mirror. He smiled as he made his way to the front door to buzz Clarke up. He opened the door and leaned against the doorway as she made her way up the stairs. She was bundled up, her cheeks pink from the cold, but Murphy thought she couldn’t have looked more radiant. He was sure the grin on his face looked incredibly stupid, but he didn’t care. And Clarke had a smile to match.

“Hi,” Murphy said as she finally neared him.

“Hi,” Clarke answered, leaning in to kiss him.

They walked inside and Murphy closed the door behind them as Clarke took off her coat.

“It smells delicious.”

“Well tonight’s special.”

Clarke laughed. “You’re not gonna propose, are you?”

Murphy chuckled, though his stomach flipped at the thought. “Nah, nothing like that. Can’t a guy woo his beautiful girlfriend without it meaning he’s gonna ask to marry her?”

“I guess so. I could never say no to being wooed.”

“Great, because we’ve got an amazing night prepared.”

They sat down to dinner, and as expected, Clarke squealed when she saw the mac and cheese sitting on top of the stove. Murphy laughed at her excitement, happy he was able to make her smile. The conversation was easy for the first half of the meal, light as they talked about their days. Clarke relayed a crazy story from one of her classes. She was a first year med student, and her workload was a bit intense. It was a wonder she and Murphy were able to spend any time together with all the tests she had to study for. But Clarke was nothing if not somehow a super human, and Murphy loved her even more for that.

Things got quieter as Murphy got out the ice cream to put on top of the brownies he had made. He could feel the mood shift as he got out two spoons and put the plate with dessert in between them. Clarke was subdued, and she would probably blame it on being tired from classes, but Murphy knew better. He’d been feeling it too lately. The weird and impending sense of doom that had been looming for about a month. When he first found out about his internship, it was a source of excitement for both of them. It was an amazing opportunity and they both knew that. But as the days drew closer to Murphy’s departure, the very real fact that they would be apart for six months weighed heavier on the both of them. And Murphy always knew something was really wrong when Clarke didn’t want to eat. She took one bite of the brownie and then started picking at it.

“What if you don’t come back?” Clarke asked in the silence, not looking up at him.

Murphy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re gonna love it there. You talk all the time about wanting to leave Wisconsin and going to New York. You’re gonna love it and next thing you know, six months turns into forever.”

He put his free hand on top of hers. “Clarke, look at me.”

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness, and maybe even the beginnings of a few tears.

“Listen,” he continued. “I know this is gonna be tough. But as great as this experience is gonna be, I know I’m not gonna be able to stop thinking about you while I’m gone. I’ll always want to come back.”

Clarke shook her head. “You say that now, but you haven’t left yet. You don’t know for sure.”

“But I do know for sure that I love you. I love you so much, Clarke. You think it hasn’t kept me up at night that we’re not gonna be around each other all the time anymore?”

“I love you, too. But what if there are other more exciting New York girls that have their eyes set on you? Am I just holding you back?”

“Okay first off, if anything I’m holding _you_ back. I can’t believe that someone who’s training to be a doctor is even giving me the time of day. I basically went to college to debate which characters in classic literature are secretly gay.”

Clarke laughed at that, and Murphy felt a little lighter. At least he could still make her laugh. That was definitely a good sign.

“And second, I don’t care about girls from New York. I only want you.” He looked into her eyes again, losing himself in the deep blue before leaning in to press a tender kiss to her lips.

Clarke pulled away with a goofy grin on her face. “You sure have a way with words.”

“I should hope so. I paid a lot of money for that English degree.”

They laughed and finished their brownie, the conversation slightly lighter. She helped him with the dishes, though they took a lot longer seeing as they kept pausing to make out in between. It probably wasn’t the most effective way to clean, but Murphy couldn’t say that he minded. All he cared about were Clarke’s lips on his, the way her touch seared his skin.

Later they sat in his bed together, limbs entangled, Murphy lightly stroking Clarke’s hair. Her eyes were closed, though she wasn’t asleep yet. Murphy relished in this moment, willing it to last for as long as possible. If it didn’t end, maybe he wouldn’t have to leave tomorrow. This was the first time in all of this that he was actually a little scared about how things might change between them.

“You should come visit,” Murphy murmured.

“Hmm?” Clarke asked, not bothering to open her eyes.

“You should come visit me. In New York. Maybe during your spring break? Then I can show you around, take you to my favorite bagel place.”

She frowned, opening her eyes. “You haven’t been yet, how can you have a favorite bagel place?”

“Please, that’s going to be one of the first things I look for when I get there.”

Clarke chuckled. “Of course I’ll come visit you.”

Murphy couldn’t help but press a kiss to her forehead. He wanted nothing more than to be with Clarke forever.

It struck him in that moment. Clarke had joked about it earlier, and Murphy felt a little embarrassed, but he wasn’t completely sure why. But he just knew in his gut that he wanted to marry this girl. He couldn’t picture life without her, and he had never been more sure of anything in his life. She was it for him, the person he was meant to spend forever with. Murphy never considered himself much of a romantic, but everything with Clarke made him want to do all the sappy things he never thought he’d do for anyone. She encouraged him to follow his dreams, even if being an author wasn’t necessarily the most practical career move. She helped him through hard times when his mom died. She had been there through a lot, and he knew that they could face anything together. Warmth flooded his chest as he realized how much he wanted to ask Clarke to be his wife.

Murphy knew he couldn’t ask her now. It wasn’t the right moment, not when he was about to get on a plane to leave the state in just a few hours. And he wanted to do it properly. But he was giddy, excited at this little secret he had with himself.

“I love you,” he whispered to her.

She looked at him, face soft with sleep about to overtake her. “I love you, too.” She leaned in for one last kiss before nestling further into his arms. Murphy sighed, wrapping his arms slightly tighter around his girlfriend. He smiled to himself, thinking hopefully in a few months he’d be able to call her his fiancée.

The next morning, Clarke drove Murphy to the airport. They spent much of the ride in silence, both subdued and sad now that the day had finally arrived. It almost didn’t feel real. Once they arrived she parked and walked him inside. If either of them squeezed the other’s hand a little bit tighter, they didn’t say anything about it. They might have been in love, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still scared. Everything was about to change for them, and Murphy just prayed that they would be alright.

Clarke turned to face him just before the start of the security line. He could tell she was holding back tears, and just looking at her made him blink back a few of his own. He pulled her in for a long hug. He nestled his head into her shoulder, trying to take in her scent and remember every detail before he didn’t see her for a few months.

“You’re gonna do amazing,” Clarke said. “And I’m so proud of you.”

Murphy nodded, the tears finally falling from his face. “I’ll miss you.”

“I know. Me too,” she said, wiping at her own face. “But we’ll still talk all the time. I want to hear about all your big city adventures.”

“I’ll be sure to alert you of every time I get lost on the subway.”

Clarke chuckled before taking his face in her hands and pulling him in for a kiss. It wasn’t goodbye forever, but there was a finality to the way her lips pressed against his that made Murphy want to cry more. But this was just a “see you later,” even if it was incredibly difficult.

“I love you,” Clarke whispered as she pressed their foreheads together.

“I love you, too,” Murphy said. “I should probably start going.”

“Okay. Text me when you land.”

Murphy willed himself to step away from his girlfriend, still hesitant to take this next big step without her. He shouldered his carry-on bag and made his way to the back of the security line. He took a deep breath before looking back at Clarke, who was still watching him go. She blew him a kiss and he caught it, holding his hand close to his heart. Eventually Clarke turned to go and even though the airport was bustling and busy, Murphy felt completely alone. The excitement he’d felt about this new opportunity was somewhere buried deep beneath the surface, but all he felt in this moment was an overwhelming sadness at having to leave Clarke behind. March couldn’t come soon enough.

When Murphy landed in New York City, he expected to be overwhelmed, but he didn’t think he’d feel so much like a fish out of water. He knew he’d have to quickly get used to the hustle and bustle of the city, people moving and barely paying attention to where they were going. He worried for a moment that maybe this was a terrible idea. Maybe he was in over his head. He should’ve stayed with Clarke. He shook himself out of those thoughts, not wanting to doubt his decision, not when he had just arrived. Clarke talked a lot about how this was an adventure for him, and he wanted to have an adventure. Feeling like he might drown would just be a part of that.

Thankfully Murphy didn’t get too turned around on his way to the apartment he was subletting with another intern at the same publishing house. They’d talked a bit in a housing group on Facebook, and Murphy thought he seemed cool, so he hoped that the arrangement would go off without a hitch. Six months was a very long time to not like a roommate.

Murphy picked up the key that was waiting for him in the lobby and headed up to the fourth floor. His roommate had arrived the day before, so he wasn’t sure if he should be expecting someone. But what Murphy wasn’t expecting was for the apartment to feel so small. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure what he expected, but it was a lot of rent to be paying for a shoebox.

He walked further inside, his suitcase rolling behind him. It didn’t seem like anyone was here right now, so he took in the layout. A small kitchen, a living area and then a few doors, presumably to a bathroom and the bedrooms. It wasn’t much, but at least he had a place to lay his head. And he would definitely get used to it.

Murphy wasn’t sure which room he was supposed to take, but he took a gamble and guessed that the one with the door slightly ajar might be his. He peered in, making sure it didn’t seem like anybody had claimed it and made his way inside. Thankfully, Murphy was not the type of person to have a lot of things, because there wasn’t much room for anything besides a double bed and a dresser. But from everything Murphy had heard about New York, he wouldn’t be in his apartment all that much. So even though it was an adjustment, he was okay with the lack of space. He could make it work. This was part of his new adventure. He sent a couple pictures to Clarke, since she was curious about what his apartment looked like. They’d be really cozy when she came to visit in March, but that was probably a bonus more than anything.

Murphy heard the key turn in the lock. His roommate must be back. He put down his things and walked into the living area. He was met with a guy about his age, with a short haircut and beard carrying a brown paper bag. The guy looked up and smiled.

“So you must be Murphy!”

“Yeah, it’s nice to finally meet you, Miller,” Murphy said walking towards him. They shook hands.

“What time did you get here?”

“Just a few minutes ago, so I haven’t seen very much.”

Miller chuckled, looking around the small room. “Well there’s not much to see. This is it.”

Murphy laughed. “Yeah, I don’t know what I was expecting. Like I knew it would be small, but I guess I just wasn’t prepared.”

“You’ll get used to it. You’re in luck, I brought back some bagels. Do you want one?”

“I could eat.”

They sat and ate bagels, getting to know each other. Murphy was glad that Miller seemed cool in person and not just over Facebook message. And he couldn’t help but find it a little funny that they both went by their last names. What were the odds?

Murphy had a few days to kill before the first day of his internship. He got to know Morningside Heights, his new neighborhood by walking around the park and just getting used to his surroundings. He got some groceries and set up his room. He wrote some snippets of scenes down in his notebook. It was nothing all that great, and it was pretty fragmented, but he hadn’t felt this inspired to write in a long time. He talked to Clarke every night before he went to bed. He missed her so much it made his heart ache, but he was hoping that once his internship started, he’d be a bit too busy to spend all his time missing her.

Murphy’s alarm went off on the first day of his internship and for the first time ever, he was quick to get out of bed. It was the start of his new adventure and he couldn’t wait. He pulled on a pair of khakis and a blue button-down shirt. Once he was dressed he went out to the kitchen and set the coffee to brew. Miller emerged from his room, dressed but clearly not awake.

“Good morning!” Murphy greeted him.

Miller frowned. “I didn’t take you for a cheerful morning person.”

“I’m not usually. I guess I’m just excited.”

“I guess we’ll check in at the end of the day and see if you still feel the same way,” Miller said as he went straight for the coffee pot.

Murphy and Miller ate a quick breakfast then made their way out into the busy Monday morning. Murphy was glad to have someone else take the subway with him, because Miller was from New Jersey, and was already used to the subway system. It wouldn’t have been a good look for Murphy to be late on the first day because he got turned around trying to figure out how to use the train.

They arrived in Midtown and made their way to the building where Arkadia Books had their offices. An assistant was downstairs waiting for them and ushered them up to the tenth floor. They received badges and a quick tour before they were shown to the editors they’d be assisting. Murphy was paired with a solemn looking man named Thelonious Jaha. He was intently going over a manuscript, liberally crossing things out with a red pen, a frown on his face. Murphy took a deep breath and knocked on the office door to get the man’s attention.

He looked up from his work. “Can I help you?”

Murphy stepped into the office. “Uh, hi. My name is John Murphy, I’m your intern?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A statement. I’m your intern.”

“Well it’s perfect timing that you’re here,” Jaha said as he rooted through his desk before taking out a credit card and holding it out to Murphy. “I didn’t have my coffee this morning, so go to Starbucks and order some. Venti Americano.”

Murphy stepped forward and wordlessly took the card from Jaha. He started to go, but turned around to ask, “Um, where is the Starbucks?”

Jaha looked up again, an eyebrow raised. “Just on the corner. You can’t miss it.”

Murphy nodded, venturing back out to find the Starbucks. The rest of his day continued on a similar note. He sat outside Jaha’s office until he was called to run some sort of errand. He got Jaha his lunch, he picked up papers from the copier that wasn’t that far of a walk, but he was asked to get them anyway. Murphy hadn’t expected to sit in on meetings or get to look at any manuscripts on his first day, but he at least thought his boss would spend a little time talking to him. He relayed the details of his day to Clarke when they talked on the phone that night.

“Chin up, Murphy, it was just your first day,” Clarke reminded him. “You’re gonna be there for six months, there will be plenty of opportunities to do all that other stuff. You’re there to learn.”

Murphy sighed. “I know. But I don’t want my moving all the way here to be for nothing. I want this to be the best experience of my life.”

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on an experience you’re having in your early twenties in a very expensive city.”

“See, this is why I wish you were here. I need someone to constantly remind me to be logical.”

Clarke chuckled and Murphy wished that he could see her face. “I can send you periodic texts throughout the day. Little reminders to check your bank account or that you wouldn’t have gotten the internship if they didn’t believe in you.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m sure you’d figure it out because you’re not a complete idiot. But I’m glad that I can be there for you. Just take it one day at a time.”

Murphy heeded Clarke’s words to take things one day at a time, hoping that would help him feel slightly better about this whole experience. Going into his second day at his internship, he woke up with a text from Jaha saying to make sure he brought the coffee on his way into the office. Miller’s editor that he was assisting, a woman named Indra, seemed much more chill than Jaha. Murphy envied his roommate a little, but he figured working for a hardass would probably be good for him.

Murphy spent the morning taking notes while Jaha dictated an email he would be sending to the client whose manuscript he’d marked up yesterday. He said everything short of the draft was garbage. Murphy wasn’t sure if that was the best way to motivate people to do better, but what did he know? He was just an intern.

All Murphy wanted to do was get his hands on a manuscript and read it for himself. He wanted to see what sorts of stories people sent in to publishers to get a feel for what the general public wanted to read. Sure, Murphy had his own ideas about things he wanted to write, but he also wanted to write something that would appeal to everyone. He needed money. Unfortunately Jaha didn’t seem like the type of boss who would just offer that up unless he decided he liked Murphy. So he had to get on his good side. He could handle the grunt work if it came with a reward. And maybe one day Jaha would even be willing to read something of Murphy’s. That was the ultimate goal.

He was interrupted from his daydream by a large stack of paper being dropped on his desk. He looked up to see Jaha standing in front of him.

“I need three copies of this manuscript. I’m about to take a call, so just leave them out here when you’re done,” he said before turning and heading back into his office.

Murphy sighed, but stood up and gathered the manuscript before heading to the copier. He had used it once yesterday, though for a much smaller job. But he was pretty sure he could figure it out.

He walked up to the machine, slightly weighed down by the pages he was holding. There was an unfamiliar girl sitting at the reception desk today. Her brown hair was pulled half up so he could see a small scar on her cheek. Her eyes were intently trained on her computer screen. She looked up as Murphy walked by, giving him a small smile before looking back at her computer. Murphy smiled back then turned his attention to the copier.

He was slightly overwhelmed, what with all the buttons to press. He wasn’t sure of the best way to do this, so he stood in front of the machine just staring at it for a moment, slightly paralyzed and not wanting to look like a complete idiot if he messed this up. He looked back to the girl at reception, who was now playing on her phone. Murphy wasn’t ready to give in and ask for help just yet. He was smart. He could figure this out.

He put the pages into the machine and pressed three and the copier whirred to life. It began printing, and now Murphy just had to wait. He should have brought his headphones from where he left them on his desk. He walked away to get them and when he came back, he checked on how things were printing. The copier seemed to have stopped. He inspected it further and saw that there was a jam, though he couldn’t locate where it was. Murphy looked on the screen to see where the machine was being finicky. He opened multiple compartments, but couldn’t seem to find where there was paper stuck. What the fuck was up with this machine?

“Do you need any help?” called a voice from behind him. Murphy turned to see the girl at the reception desk with an eyebrow raised, trying her hardest not to laugh at him. He felt his cheeks redden.

“Nope, I think I’ve got it. Thanks, though.”

She nodded before going back to her phone. Murphy turned back to the copier and finally found the source of the jam. He pulled the paper out and the machine went back to its printing. He stood waiting for a few more minutes, but then he realized that the pages weren’t printing double-sided.

“Fuck me up,” he murmured under his breath. He went to the menu on the screen to cancel the job, but for some reason it just kept going. The copier started beeping again with a message that there was a jam and Murphy wanted to scream, but he knew that would be more disruptive than the incessant beeping. And now he felt like an idiot for turning down the girl at the desk’s help. He sure did need it.

Almost as if she read his mind, the girl stood up and made her way over to the machine.

“I know you said you didn’t want help, but it was getting a little sad,” she said.

Murphy chuckled. “Yeah, I think I could use some assistance after all.”

She pressed a few buttons to cancel the job, then went ahead and pulled paper out of four different parts of the machine.

“That should do it. And just for future reference, this copier is really finicky, so I wouldn’t put more than fifty pages in to copy at once.”

“Good to know. Thanks.”

She gave him an appraising look then said, “I guess I’m gonna have to call you ‘copy guy’ from now on or something.”

“Goddamn, only my second day and I’m already known for being completely inept at something,” Murphy said, shaking his head.

“Well maybe you can get a new nickname once you fuck something else up.”

Murphy couldn’t help but laugh. He had no clue who this girl was, but she was pretty funny, even if it was at his expense.

_“Wait, hold up!”_

**~NOW~**

Murphy frowns at his daughter, but stops talking when she interrupts him.

“This was supposed to be a story about your love life, not work. Why are you spending so much time talking about this random receptionist person?” Emma asks.

He chuckles. Emma really does have a one track mind.

“If you had let me finish, you would’ve figured it out,” he says. “But she’s not just a random receptionist. That was the day I met Kaylee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Don't forget I'm writing for t100 Fic for BLM, and though I am continuing to work on this, if you would like to see an update sooner you can prompt me through there. More info is on [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/).
> 
> As always, you can find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queen_emori).


	3. "Kaylee"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Very excited to continue sharing this story with you, and excited for you guys to get to know "Kaylee"! Hope you enjoy.

“So Kaylee was a temp I met at the publishing house. I’d say she ended up becoming one of my best friends,” Murphy explains to Emma.

Emma frowns. “If she’s one of your best friends, why have I never heard of her before?”

He shrugs. “Maybe you have heard of her and you just don’t know it. She could very well be your mother.”

“Hmm, I’m not convinced. Keep going.”

Murphy chuckles before continuing from where he left off.

**~THEN~**

Murphy smiled at this new girl, still not completely sure what to make of her, but glad she’d come to his rescue in his time of need. Failing at making copies didn’t seem like the best way to get on Jaha’s good side.

She extended her hand to him. “I’m Emori.”

“John Murphy,” he said, shaking her hand.

“So, John. You must be fairly new. I take this temp gig a lot because it’s easy, and I’ve never seen you before.”

Murphy was slightly taken aback by the use of his first name. Hardly anyone called him John, but for some reason, he didn’t mind when she said it.

“I am new. I’m interning with Thelonious Jaha,” he answered.

“Oh, good luck with that.” Emori smiled before leaning in and whispering, “I’ve heard he’s a bit of a hard ass.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. Just trying to pay my dues and get on his good side so I can figure out this whole world of publishing.”

“You’ll get the hang of it. You seem a bit more competent than some other people that have tried to use the copier, so at least you’ve got that going for you.”

“So maybe a reason I shouldn’t be known as ‘copy guy’?” Murphy joked.

Emori chuckled. “Not likely.”

“It was worth a shot.” He turned back to the machine as Emori went back to sit at the reception desk. He stood at the copier for about half an hour longer, following her advice and putting in fewer sheets of paper at a time. Everything went off without a hitch.

He gathered the copies and stopped at the desk on his way back to his own area. She looked up from her book.

“Thanks again for your help,” Murphy said.

“No problem.”

“I feel like I should repay you. Would you wanna maybe grab lunch? My treat.”

Emori smirked. “If this is your not so subtle way of flirting with me, I’ll just stop you right there. I have a boyfriend.”

Murphy’s eyes widened and his face went bright red. “No, no! Nothing like that! I have a girlfriend. I mean, she’s back home in Wisconsin, but she exists.”

She chuckled, shaking her head at him. “You’re funny, John. I didn’t pack anything today, so lunch sounds nice.”

Murphy nodded. “Okay, great. I guess I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”

He walked back to his desk and put the copies of the manuscript on his desk for when Jaha finished with his phone call. Jaha never gave Murphy a set time for lunch, so he figured it would probably be alright to go now that he’d finished his task. He wasn’t sure how long this phone call was supposed to be, but it was almost one, so he figured it would be fine to take his break now. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do at the moment. He got his coat and walked back over to reception. Emori smiled at him as she put her coat on and got her bag before they made their way outside.

Murphy was still learning what sorts of things were near the office to eat. He’d noticed a lot of salad places, all within a couple blocks of each other. He found it a little odd, but he chalked it up to cosmopolitan taste buds. He let Emori pick the lunch spot, since she seemed to know what she wanted. She picked a small deli that Murphy wouldn’t have noticed were it not for her. They got their sandwiches and since it wasn’t terribly cold on that particular day, they sat on a bench in the courtyard outside their office building.

Murphy took a bite of his sandwich and had to hold back a moan. It was delicious, and now he worried that he’d end up going broke buying his lunch there all the time.

“I might dream about this sandwich tonight,” he said after inhaling the first half of it.

Emori laughed. “Yeah, the first one is always pretty amazing. I should’ve taken a picture of your face when you first took a bite. Just to memorialize the moment.”

“Well I honestly think the moment is seared in my memory just by it being so delicious, so it all worked out.”

“You make it very clear you’re not from here,” she remarked after a moment.

Murphy shrugged. “I mean, I just got here. I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“You said you’re from Wisconsin?”

He nodded.

“Is your girlfriend real, or did you make her up when I said I had a boyfriend?”

Murphy frowned. “What?”

“I don’t know, I’ve just seen guys hastily make up girlfriends before when I make it clear I’m not interested.”

“Well, I didn’t make her up. She’s real. Her name is Clarke, and she’s in her first year of med school.”

“Huh,” Emori said, an inquisitive look on her face.

“What?”

“You just don’t look like you’d date a doctor, that’s all. Do you have a picture of her?”

Murphy smiled and pulled out his phone to show off his lockscreen. It was a photo of the two of them dressed up at Clarke’s parents’ house on Christmas. They were standing in front of the tree, all smiles with their arms around each other.

“Aww, you guys look cute together,” Emori said.

“Thanks. We’ve been together for a little over a year. She’s really smart, kind of a dork. I don’t know, I just love her a lot.” Murphy felt his face heat up as he talked about Clarke to Emori, but he couldn’t help it.

“I bet you miss her.”

“Yeah, I do. But we talk all the time, and she’s gonna come visit in March. This was too good an opportunity for me to pass up, and she was super encouraging about me coming to do it. But I do wish I could just hug her sometimes.”

He turned to see Emori looking at him with a huge grin on her face. “What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just so sweet to hear you gush about your girlfriend like that. I swear, hell would have to freeze over before I heard my boyfriend talk about me that way.”

Murphy frowned and even went so far as to open his mouth to object to that statement, but he thought better of it. He just met this girl, and he didn’t want to stick his nose into her business when she didn’t ask for his opinion. But so far she seemed great, so privately he thought to himself that her boyfriend was an idiot.

“So do you want to go into publishing, then?” Emori asked.

“Not exactly. I want to be an author.”

She chuckled. “Are you setting out to write the next Great American Novel?”

Murphy snorted. “Nah, nothing like that. But this kind of seemed like a good way to get my foot in the door, at least. See what sorts of stories people are accepting these days.”

“Makes sense.”

“What’s your dream job? I mean no shame if you like being a temp, but I’m just curious.”

Emori shrugged. “I don’t really dream of labor. I’m mostly just trying to save up money so I can travel.”

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere.” She smiled, looking out on the busy street as she continued. “We all get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of things, that it’s like we forget what it’s like to just stop and smell the roses. I want to chase that feeling. Of not having to wake up in the morning with somewhere to go, of just immersing myself in the wonders of a new place. I want to explore.”

Murphy nodded. He still wasn’t sure what to make of Emori, but she seemed pretty badass. He almost didn’t want lunch to be over, he was having such a nice time talking to her. But it was hard to ignore the fact that they were both done eating, and Murphy figured he should probably get back upstairs before Jaha started wondering where he was.

“Well, thank you for lunch. You didn’t have to do that,” Emori said as she gathered her trash.

“Please, you were my savior earlier with the copier, it’s the least I can do.”

“I’m glad I was able to help. That copier is a piece of trash, honestly.”

They traded some last simple small talk as they made their way back upstairs to the office. Emori sat down at the reception desk and Murphy gave one last wave before making his way back over to his desk. There was a new stack of papers sitting there and a note asking him to file them away. Murphy sighed and picked up the papers and walked over to the file cabinets in Jaha’s office.

Murphy didn’t see Emori everyday, since she didn’t actually work at the publishing house. He walked into work the day after she helped him with the copier almost hoping she’d be back, but she wasn’t there. He tried not to feel too disappointed. He knew she was a temp, so she wouldn’t always be around. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t miss her a little bit in the meantime.

As the weeks went on, Murphy and Miller began to make friends with some of the other interns and entry level staff at the publishing house. They even went out for after work drinks sometimes. It probably wasn’t the best idea to get drunk in the middle of the work week, but Murphy figured he’d only be young once. He might as well live a little. On this particular evening, he took shots with Miller and then spent the rest of the night nursing a couple beers, but he was definitely drunk. He talked a bit with Harper, the receptionist that had been out the day Emori filled in. She was nice as well, and very sweet. It was good to have someone to talk to while Miller was preoccupied talking up the guy he met while he was getting a refill for the table. When he came back with the drinks, he brought the new guy with him, and he introduced himself as Monty. After a while Monty and Miller seemed to be in their own little world, and Harper eventually excused herself to call it a night. Murphy wished he could go home, but he didn’t want to leave without Miller. Or at least, not until Miller made a decision about where he’d be spending the rest of his evening.

Watching Miller flirt with Monty made Murphy feel a pang in his chest. He missed Clarke so much it hurt. He excused himself from their booth, though he was pretty sure neither of his companions noticed, and went outside, dialing Clarke’s number as he went.

She picked up on the second ring. “Murphy?”

“Heeey, Clarke!” Murphy sang. He smiled to himself, warmth flooding his chest at the sound of his girlfriend’s voice.

Clarke chuckled. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe a little. But the happy hour deal at this dive bar was too good to pass up.”

“It sounds like you’re having a good time.”

“I am. But I miss you. And I just love you a lot.”

“I miss you too, baby. And I’m never gonna let you live this phone call down.”

Murphy smiled to himself. “I don’t care. I’ll never shut up about how I feel about you.”

“Well you certainly know how to make me feel special,” she said. “Oh, did you deliver that package to my roommate from my study abroad program?”

Murphy frowned. “What?”

“Remember I gave you that wrapped gift to put in your suitcase when I came over the night before you left? To take to my old roommate?”

Murphy wracked his brain, trying to remember what Clarke was referring to. A hazy memory came to light. They were in his room and she said that her old roommate from when she spent a semester at Oxford lived in New York City and could he please give her this present. Murphy vaguely remembers saying yes and throwing the package into his suitcase before wrapping his arms around Clarke and pushing them back onto his bed. So he might have been a bit preoccupied with other matters at the time.

“That maybe rings a bell,” he said.

“I can text you more info so you remember it when you’re less drunk. But maybe you can try to take it this weekend? Does that sound good?”

“Yeah, I can do that. Anything for you.”

“Thanks, Murphy. I love you.” Murphy couldn’t see Clarke over the phone, but he could hear the smile in her voice and it never failed to make his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so lucky as to be with her.

“I love you, too.”

Murphy hung up with Clarke and headed back into the bar. As he approached the booth again, he saw Monty putting his number into Miller’s phone, before leaning in to give him a kiss and getting up to go. He nodded to Murphy as he made his way out of the bar. Murphy waggled his eyebrows at Miller as he slid into the booth. Miller looked equal parts triumphant and embarrassed, but it was a funny combination.

“So I take it the conversation went well?” Murphy asked.

Miller nodded. “It was nice. We’re hopefully gonna hang out this weekend. Go on a real date.”

“That’s great! Just let me know if I need to be out of the apartment at all, and I’ll steer clear.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, man. But I’ll let you know.”

The two of them paid their tab and started to make their way back to the apartment. The entire way home, Murphy couldn’t get his mind off of the package that Clarke wanted him to deliver to her old roommate. Once they arrived, he rooted through his things to find it. It was in the bottom of his drawer, but it still looked mostly intact. The paper had ripped off partially, so he opened it. He didn’t want to bring whatever this was to some person he didn’t know and have it seem like he had tried to open it. He frowned when the paper was all the way off, revealing a simple blue journal. This was it? Just a notebook? Murphy certainly appreciated a good notebook, but he didn’t see what was so special about this one.

Miller walked by on his way from the kitchen to his bedroom and stopped when he saw Murphy.

“What’s up?”

“My girlfriend wants me to deliver this to someone she studied abroad with. But it’s just a stupid notebook.”

“Is there something inside it?”

Murphy’s eyes widened. He didn’t think to open it. Clearly he was still a bit drunk. He flipped to the first page and read the name on the inside. “Property of Raven Reyes.”

Miller gasped. “It’s a diary!” He was still a bit drunk, too.

“Why did Clarke have her abroad roommate’s diary?” Murphy wondered aloud.

“I don’t know, man.”

Murphy looked from the diary, to Miller, then back to the diary again. He didn’t know the person this belonged to, so it felt a little weird to look inside. But at the same time, he was deadly curious, especially considering Clarke held onto it for a couple years. Did that mean something? Was she mentioned somewhere?

“You wanna read it, don’t you?” Miller asked.

Murphy nodded and Miller sat down on the couch in the living room, patting the seat next to him. Murphy came out into the living room and sat down.

He took a breath. “I feel nervous.”

“Probably because you’re opening the diary of some girl you don’t know.”

“You told me to open it!”

“Well I’m curious, too!” Miller protests.

Murphy laughs and finally turns a few pages. The handwriting is pristine, each word written with complete care. Whoever this Raven Reyes person was, she certainly cared about her penmanship. Murphy scanned the pages, looking for any mention of Clarke. She had to be in here somewhere. Eventually, his eyes landed on her name about a quarter way through the journal.

“Aha!” Murphy shouted.

“Read it out loud!” Miller said, egging him on.

Murphy scanned the rest of the page in search of a good place to start. He found it, then cleared his throat as he began a dramatic reading.

“The first month here has been alright so far. My classes are nice, and the campus is gorgeous. My roommate Clarke is really sweet. She’s studying art this semester, taking a break from her pre-med classes. She’s really talented, I don’t know why she doesn’t just do art for a living. But she did mention that her mom is rather pushy on the whole doctor thing.”

“You didn’t tell me your girlfriend is an artist,” Miller interrupted.

“Well, she does the occasional sketch now and again to relieve stress. But she’s kind of busy with school. We don’t talk about it all that much, really. But she is really good,” Murphy muses.

“That makes sense. Keep reading.”

“She’s really pretty, so that gets a bit distracting at times. She gets this look of concentration on her face when she’s really into a project that’s a little mesmerizing.”

Miller chuckled. Murphy turned to look at him.

“What?”

“This girl had a huge crush on your girlfriend.”

Murphy frowned. “Would you like me to keep reading, or not?”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll shut up now.”

“I was a little worried this stupid crush was getting out of hand, but last night definitely changes things. We were out at a bar and these guys were being creepy, so Clarke was quick to come to my rescue. She pretended to be my girlfriend and eventually they left us alone. We played it up the rest of the night, cuddling each other and holding hands. But even after we left the bar, Clarke wouldn’t let go of my hand on the way home. I told her she could let go, but she said she didn’t want to. I was a little taken aback, not sure I had heard her correctly, so I stopped walking. I turned to look at her and she had this intense look on her face. I thought I was imagining her leaning in, but the next thing I knew, her lips were on mine and we were kissing. And it was amazing. Not much happened last night, but I think there’s a good chance something more could happen soon. I honestly can’t stop thinking about it. Her lips were…”

Murphy trailed off, feeling a bit pervy now that he knew the contents of Raven’s journal. It was weird to read about his girlfriend hooking up with someone else.

“I, uh. I think your girlfriend and this Raven person hooked up,” Miller said, filling the silence.

Murphy nodded. “Looks like it.”

“Is that weird for you?”

“I mean, I know Clarke is bi, but I didn’t know about Raven.”

“It’s kind of weird that she’s sending you to take this book to her ex-lover.”

“Yeah, a little bit. But I don’t really think I was ever meant to open it in the first place. I wonder why she didn’t tell me though. It’s not like I would’ve cared. I didn’t even know her back then.”

Miller shrugged. “You know her better than I do. I guess I should head to bed. But thanks for letting me come on this journey with you.”

Miller left Murphy sitting on the couch, still slightly stunned and a little confused at what he’d just read. He almost wanted to call Clarke back and ask one of the many questions swirling in his head, but he thought better of it. He shouldn’t bother her when she was probably trying to study, and he was also still a bit too drunk. He wouldn’t be able to live down two drunk calls in one night.

Eventually he got up and went into his room, thoughts still consumed with questions about Raven. It wasn’t as though he and Clarke sat down and told each other about their past relationships. Then again, Murphy didn’t really have much to tell, seeing as Clarke was his first serious girlfriend. But he’d mentioned that he had hooked up with a few people before they met. Clarke had a similar response, though she’d had a serious high school boyfriend. But now he had a lot of other questions about this Raven Reyes.

Murphy almost wanted to open the journal up again and read a bit more. How long did Raven and Clarke hook up? Did they only kiss the one time and never again? Did they have sex for the whole semester they were at Oxford? It wasn’t his business in the first place, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still curious. He never should’ve opened the diary. And on top of it all, now he had to use part of his weekend to go visit Raven and have all these questions swirling in his head while he sat and looked this woman in the face. He prayed things wouldn’t be too awkward and closed his eyes, hoping that he’d be able to fall asleep without having to dwell on this much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Since this fic was a prompt through t100 Fic for BLM, it's on my priority list, but as you might have noticed I'm in the middle of a lot of prompts right now. If you want to see my tentative schedule, you can check out the pinned post on my [blog](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/post/641216982338945024/karas-upcoming-fic-schedule-this-is-my-pinned). And if you'd like more info about the initiative, check out [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/).
> 
> As always, come find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queen_emori).


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